((Still going through final editing))
“Nothing can come of this between us; you know that, right? I really enjoyed spending time with you tonight. You’re a great guy, and I believe you think you mean all those nice things you said to me. But let’s face it, I’m not marriage material. I’m filler. That’s all I can be. I thought I was okay being that for you. But I was wrong. There’s no way I can get to know you and not develop feelings. I think it’s best if we walk away now before my heart gets broken.”
I’d said it.
I let him off the hook, and when I opened my eyes I figured I see some sort of relief on his face. After all, I was being practical; he’d want a family one day, I couldn’t give that to anyone. However, I didn’t see relief. I saw so much anger I recoiled and scooted as far away from him as I could in the small space the couch would allow.
“The fuck did you just say?” he growled.
“Umm… which part?”
“The filler part,” he sneered.
Oh boy, he was mad.
“You know the women you date when you’re done sleeping around but not ready to settle down and get married. The fillers.” I heard the words coming out of my mouth, and I watched as his eyes narrowed into two small slits, but I couldn’t stop. “The woman you use to try to cut your teeth on, see if you’re ready for a real relationship.”
“I’ve heard some fucked up shit in my life. I’ve seen even more. I’ve seen the viciousness one person can inflict on another. But never have I witnessed someone be so cruel to themselves. Beyond that, you think so little of me that not only do you think I would use you, but you think I would use other women to cut my teeth. That is jacked. Everything you just said is so fucked up I don’t know where to begin to straighten your shit out. You. Are. Not. Filler. Not to me, not to any other man. I still don’t understand what the hell that means. Your head is so twisted you’ve imagined some bullshit universe where that makes sense. It doesn’t. It’s fucked, Meadow!”
Coming soon …. Nick and Meadow. Grab your copy here.